hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
