Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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