I have demons in me.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
