I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
