dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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