It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
