i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
