ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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