btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
