He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize