I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
