Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
