the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
