the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize