I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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