I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
