i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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