Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
