I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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