i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I could fuck to npr.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
