he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
