It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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