Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
