so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
