girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
