So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
