I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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