I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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