so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
