What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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