Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
