I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
