I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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