theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
