our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
