Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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