There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize