I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
