There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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