She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You ruined the universe
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