I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
