I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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