Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize