Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
