I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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