? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
