I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Randomize
