the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize