She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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