I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
