she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
