Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
