a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
