he puts the penis in happiness.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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