READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
