HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You've changed since you got that strap on
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
