if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
