I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
