Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
