Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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