I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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