Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
