discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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