You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize