What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
