she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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