Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He has the fingertips of a God
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
