apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I didn't notice because vodka
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
