Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
