I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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