I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
