You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
